yukimi87

This is kinda dead :P I've never been good at keeping a diary so that's probably the main reason. I had almost completely forgotten I had a live journal account. In fact, I only remembered it because I discovered a new great fanfic author (http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2938841/one_blue_eye). Check her out for a magnificent do over fic of Torchwood just after Children of Earth. I can't share much more without posting spoilers for people who haven't watched Torchwood yet but it's a really interesting fanfiction with great characterisation that's playing with the timey-wimey stuff :P

My life is more or less as messed up as always with family and career trouble but, on the bright side, one internet friend has come with a 5 week scholarship to Seville form the US and we've been hanging out with him and having fun.

These last months I've been reading a lot of blogs in religious abuse (lovejoyfeminism.blogspot.com, nolongerquivering, ...) which took me to become more activist about my atheism and I started reading the friendly atheist blog and some pharingula posts. My twitter got a lot more politic and conscientious.

I've also informed myself more about transgender issues since a year ago when I took a great interest in Hourou Musuko (Wandering Son in English), a manga about a boy wanting to be a girl and a girl wanting to be a boy, by Shimura Takako. It resonated with me so I started digging more about it, correcting the misinformation I had absorbed through the years.

Well, food is here, let's see if I manage to come back before long :)

If someone is reading this, thanks for taking the time :)

Yay, the incredible and wonderful writer Askerian dropped by to welcome me, a simple plebeian to Livejournal XP.  So I've replied to her, I'm posting today and I don't want to disappoint her :P Also, follow the lik I've just posted to enjoy her marvelous fanfics, specially if you like threesomes stories. I certainly do.

I've also received some very good news today to dissipate the suicidal tendencies the incoming exams bring with them. My best internet friend, whom my boyfriend Remus and I visited in Brno, is coming to visit me with her family AFTER the exams end. This obviously doesn't mean anything to you, my (few) anonymus readers but it's certainly a big deal for me. She is a crazy girl that mixes ideas like anarchism and capitalism, bright debater, cheerful sports-lover and as tall as I'm short... she calls me her Yuki-chibi-chan and says she can carry me around in her pocket. I knew there was a possibility of her coming but it was to be during my two weeks of exams if she even came so it couldn't have been in a worst moment, not even trying.

I don't really know what to write about right now (apart for some blab on manga, american series, doramas or some depressing stuff of my live... well I do have something to write about :P) so I'll try to sketch a fictional scene as it comes to my mind... let's see how it works. (After finishing it, I think it's not worth the time it takes to read it XP)

(Basic idea: One girl tells her friends she leaves the country suddenly. She won't even tell them where or why. This is the POV of the last person to find out.)

I arrived just on time to the park. It was the one behind the convenience store where we used to go buy snacks in high school. It wasn't an unusual place for us to get together. There wasn't anything on the call that made me think there was something weird going on either, so I hadn't really put much effort on not being late as I normally was. Still, both the train and the subway had been waiting for me at the station like they were conspiring that day to make me more punctual than ever, and, as I was walking, I thought it might put a surprised smile on Atsushi.

They were a hundred meters after the small statue of some politician figure to which I had never paid any attention. The group's dynamic felt strange as I observed them from afar. Usually we all flock to where Asami-chan is, but today I saw Hiro-kun and Jingo-kun a little apart, while Asami-chan rested her head on Keiko-san's shoulder on the other end of their improvised picnic set. Atsushi was nowhere to be seen yet and I hurried my pace to get there faster.

I tried to sneak in and surprise them but they saw me before I was even close. 

-Hey!- I ruffled Hiro-kun's hair playfully but he didn't complain- Where's Atsushi? Dont. tell. me. I got here before him- I said in a smug tone. 

Hiro-kun could barely suppress a smile at my silly joke but, unexpectedly, it was not him who answered my question, but a voice to my right:

-He decided to go get some drinks when we got here- said Asami-chan- it's only being a pair of minutes but the stall is close so he'll be back soon. Once he is back, I've got to tell all of you some news.

There was an unmeasurable quantity of "something" in the atmosphere and I felt I was the only one out of the loop. They were all so weird today.

Five minutes went by in silence, then 10. We might not be the noisiest people around but this was very abnormal and definitely nerve-grating for me... they've always said I don't know how to appreciate silence and reflection. Perhaps it's true.

I tried making small talk with all of them but the answers were monosyllables. Then I resorted to heavier methods and started poking at Jingo's ribs. At first he gave me a look that said I was being extremely childish but it lost all of its severity when he started laughing. It was getting more relaxed until Atsushi came back trotting with two plastic bags filled with cans of all type of drinks and several snacks.

Atsushi is quite a gentle guy but he tries to project a tough persona. We lived close but I didn't meet him until we were both in 3th year of school. By pure chance, on the way home, we met and stroke a conversation about our favorite Sentai characters. I still embarrass him telling this story. We met the rest the rest when he became involved with Asami-chan in middle school. They only dated for 6 months but remained friends after that. I didn't have a girlfriend until the last year of high school so I was forever jealous of them who got tons of dates.

Atsushi went to sit next to me and nudged me in the arm:

-Always the last one.

-Hey, I was on time... and and you weren't even here- I tried to rebuff pathetically.

-Here, take this- replied ignoring my words and handing me a melon soda. Jingo-kun and Hiro-kun got cokes while Atsushi and Reiko-san got coffee. Finally, Asami-chan, always the Yamato Nadeshiko of so many boy's wet dreams, picked up a green tea bottle.

Asami is such a beauty... not the occidental kind, but the black long haired, deep captivating eyes and deceptively nice mannered type. Actually, if you get to know her personally, you'll realize that the quality that best describes her is that she is a people's person. She knows how to deal with almost anyone and she needs them, like a flower needs water. She was the main connector of this group and the reason why we haven't lost contact even after having finished high school years ago.

The sounds of the clicks and rips of everybody opening their drinks brought me to the here and now. After we all had given a few gulps to our beverages, Asami-chan began to talk.

-I don't know where to start to apologize for not telling you before... but I just knew it last week. I needed some time to prepare everything-she started, quite mysteriously in my opinion- In the end some of you heard before I could tell you and got hurt. We have a pretty closely knitted friendship so I know it was bad of me to not tell you.. I was pretty sad myself- she looked downwards to the orange texture in which we were sitting.

She took a deep breathing and finally blurted it out:

-I'm leaving the country for an indeterminate amount of time- well, I'm not the closest person to her but I don't think getting a holidays visiting Hawaii is so bad- and while I'm outside you will be able to contact me, I won't look at my mail, my mobile number will be different and  you mustn't try to look for my new address- she said in a dejected machine-like voice- nothing of calling my family for getting it for sending me a New Year's card. They won't know where I live either. In fact, it would be better if you just forgot I exist. I really don't know when I'll return. and in the tone you could read the "if" almost as clearly as if she had said it herself.

Wait... that was strange to say the least, now I understood why everybody appeared so weirded out. They were all closer to her than me so it must felt out of the world for them, a surreal experience brought to you by Asami-chanTM. The questions started flying and I guessed it had been the same when they had found out on their own.

-This is non-sense. Why can't you tell us where you are going or what are you doing?-a slightly belligerent Jingo asked- Won't it be something illegal- and what's with that pre-rehearsed kind of explanation?

-I really can't tell you nothing gu-

Before she could finish, Reiko-san's stern voice could be heard almost breaking.

-Is it really necessary? I don't really know what we are going to do without you around- the subtext was more along the lines of "I don't know what "I" am going to do without you.

Hiro-kun and Atsushi were silent. They must have already had their turn to bash their heads against Asami-chan's silence.

Are you on some government's pay-check or something?-I said jokingly- I guess they wouldn't have let you to say your good-byes like this if that were the case- When I said those last words, I felt a twitch on Asami-chan's eye for a second but it was very brief. Still, the little bit of gentleman I have in me forced me to ask- Has something entered your eye Asami-chan? Do you want a handkerchief?

- No, it's alright. But seriously, why would a government want a good-for-nothing like me- she joked openly to try to erase the somber look in some of the faces of our mates.

The afternoon was a mixture of sorrow, disbelief, small regrets (we never got to do that trip to Mizushima, we never went again to watch the fireworks in the bridge as we promised, ...) and a strong sense of guilt coming from Asami-chan. We had stopped assaulting her with questions when we saw we weren't going to get an answer and passed to reminisce about our high school years and the time certainly went fast. We said our goodbyes and Asami-chan gave each of us a big hug. we promised we'd go to see her off.

Atsushi and I got together to the subway but then we took different ways as neither of us live with our folks anymore. He had been fairly animated the whole time but as soon as we were out of site from the rest, he broke off. I had been expecting this since his facade is pretty easy to read for me. I patted his back and got him on his train where I hope he didn't got pissed off. I went to bed wishing for an end to this pretty surreal day.

The next morning the news read:

25-year-old girl Hirota Asami-san died in a car crashed at 3AM in the morning. Identification was done using her driver's license as the body was burnt from the fire accompanying the explosion of the gas deposit. There were no dental records but her family came to try to identify her. Still, the police considered it wasn't possible for the state of the body but that it had the approximate size and age of the former Hirota Asami-san. In other related new... 

I stopped listening, the next few weeks , I spent them living with Atsushi so he didn't make any stupidity. We attended the funeral service when the authorities returned the body, saw the potent fire of the incinerator take care of what the other smaller one has left, went to visit her grave to pray for her, .. 

Finally, Atsushi was himself again to hide his sorrow behind his usual mask and I returned to my normal routine again. One days went by, then two and in the third day after my returned to my cramped apartment, I received a pretty interesting but creepy phone call:

-Good morning- said a male voice- Am I speaking with Matsubaraya Ike?

-Yes, that's me- I answered in my formal phone voice- in what can I help you?

I heard the phone switching hands:

-It's me, Asami- I did all I could not to drop the phone.

(Well, ladies and gentleman, this is my try to write a scene, it really took me quite a while to write it and even I think it's pretty boring and overall way too easy to guess what's going to happen at the end. I tried to at least make the name of the narrator a secret until the end.. and I don't know why I set it in Japan..)

I'm posting this know without any real proof reading apart from spell-check. If you want to correct my writing style, go ahead. I'm not popular enough to get flames I think XP so decided yourself what to with them. I've heard they are nice to warm you in the winter.

 
 Hi! I'm setting my account, I should have done so a long while ago but with RL making my life hell and preparation for my exams keeping me busy I've only come here to leech o... I mean to read interesting stories or fanfics and download some jdoramas :P


 I didn't plan on writing anything when I created this account. I mean, I might be an avid reader and I might have an interesting thing or two to tell but I don't think I'm fit to become a writer... even on a playful level. (Apart from English not being my main language which it's not a real problem but it adds to the issue). I simply don't think I can create any of those heart-wrenching thrilling masterpieces I find all around me... the same way I can't draw, not even to save my life.



 Still, here I am... partly to remove that annoying note that asks me why I haven't completed my profile or added an entry; partly because as most of humanity, my ego wants me to post even if nobody reads it or nobody cares or this text is able to put an insomniac to sleep; and perhaps because, even if I suck; I find a big joy in writing... so, I think that when I remember, I'll keep this as a diary of sorts (well, not a real diary because my RL is too gloomy to be published) and perhaps when the self-consciousness diminishes, I'll write pretty bad stories that would fill the pages of this until just now empty journal.